Squirrel hunter

[Mickey and Jim]

A man asked a farmer if he could hunt squirrels on his farm

The farmer said yes so the man went into the woods, but without a gun or any thing

And later the man came out of the woods with a limit of squirrels and said thank you

This went on for a week and the farmer got to wondering how this man was getting the squirrels with out a gun, so he told the game warden about the man hunting with out a gun.

So this gets the warden wondering also, so he followed the man into the woods but don’t see or hear anything.

Finally it gets the best of the warden that he can’t find out how this man is taking his limit of squirrels without a gun, so he asked the man how he was doing it.

The man tells the warden and the farmer, well you can see that I am an ugly man
I just spot a squirrel I just look at him and it just ugly’s them to death.
You know I used to take my wife hunting with me but she tears them up to bad.

Mickey and Jim

[Soupy_1us]

Hey Kirk: Ya think this guy is talkin' about me?

[capt.kirk]

Soupy,if the man in the story just put the ugly on em and they got dead,
after readin the fine print he says he used to take his wife with him,but
she tore them up to bad,man she had to be one of the fuglyiest women
that there ever was,sure would hate to come across her back in the woods
in the night,Id rather face the Big :mad: Bull waitin for you at the gate.
Kirk

[Soupy_1us]

After this story , I think that bull is lookin better all the time.

[Mickey and Jim]

Hey Kirk: Ya think this guy is talkin' about me?

Soupy, you can put away your mirror, It ain't you it was a city slicker from New York. You know they don't like folks to have guns in that city.

Mickey and Jim

[Soupy_1us]

That little story reminds me of the one about the little boy I saw going squirrel huntin' the other day.. Guess we've all heard it...
He was walkin' down the street with a sack of rocks..
I ask: where ya goin' kid.
He said: Squirrel huntin'
I ask: where's your gun
He said: Don't use one, I use rocks.
I said : Yeah Right..
A while later I saw the same kid comin' back up the road with a sack full of squirrels
I said : How many did ya git and he replied 6
Just to make fun of him I ask which hand did he throw with...
and his reply to that was: I had to use my left hand today, 'cause I was tearin' em up to bad with my right. ( smart a** little kid)

[capt.kirk]

Yea i know that kid,and he throws real good,he may go on to be a
major league pitcher,he outta be usin ugly to gitem and save them
pitchin arms,thatta way he has 3 weapons,iffn he cant strike out them
batters he can just put the UGLY on them boys,he might be worth
$50,000,000.00 a year,an only have to work every 4 days.:D Kirk

[Illinoisgiller]

This fancifull lawer goes out duck hunting on a friens farm pond. He shoots a high one and it hit the ground in the neighboring farmers field. He climbed over the fence to get the duck and here comes the land owner on his tractor. This farmer was a little old frail guy. He asked the lawer what he was doing on his land.
The lawer said that he shot a duck and was just comming over to get it. The farmer said" It is on my land and it's my duck now" The lawer said " I am a high class lawer and I know that I can win this dispute in court. I'll sue"
The old farmer said " We don't settle things that way out here, we always settle these things with a kicking contest.
The lawer asked how that works. The farmer said, "Well It's my land so I'd start first of course. I'd give you 3 kicks, then you would give me three kicks, and we keep it up till one of us gives up. The other gets the duck."
Now this young lawer looks at the farmer sizing him up. The farmer looks to be pretty weak, and old for shure. The lawer knows he can outlast him.
So the lawer say's sure, I'll take you up on that.
With that ,the farmer hauled off and kicked the lawer in the behind. Hmm, he can kick harder than I thought but I'll get even. The second kick caught the lawer smack in the belly. He doubled over and as he was slowly straightening up, the third kick caught the lawer in the groin. He went down like a rock. He was hurting bad, but groaned out, "I'll be standing soon and it'll be my turn then."
The farmer said" nope, I give up It's your duck,You win" He got on his tractor and left. :D :D

[Soupy_1us]

Us ole country boys ain't as dumb as some think ...... :)