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4rum
11-30-2007, 09:51 PM
The Interstate Transport of Coon Hounds

It wasn’t all interstate, they was some local too. And then some folks just come by an’ picked ‘em up. But occasionally me an’ Uncle Burley would make a trip into Pennsylvania. Now Pennsylvania was a right fer piece ‘less you was on the run... then it wasn’t near far enough.

Uncle Burley wasn’t much older than me in years but he seemed a lot older. He’d been ever where an’ done ever thing at least once, an’ rumor had it, he’d stopped at that place on I-70 several times!

This partic’ler little venture was one of Uncle Burley’s more serious attempts at gettin’ rich quick an’ it involved the breeding of Bluetick coon hounds. An’ no, we ain’t even gonna joke about some of today’s vile perversions. ‘Course now I do remember this one two year old gyp... had them soulful eyes, walked kinder funny... hind end all outta kilter, sorta over to the side like. Her name was Bugle Belle, went to a nice couple down in Logan county. Sure hated to see Belle go, but them young folks was just startin’ out, they needed a good dog to git ‘em started out right.

Uncle Burley had a knack for teamin’ up good dogs with good folks... like this trip to Pennsylvania, to Pete Gaylor’s place. Pete an’ Effie had lost their Boomer in a freak sawmill accident. The freak part was when Pete actual’ took a job. The accident part was when ol’ Boomer follered him to work one day. ‘Bout the time Boomer showed up they was a slabbin’ a big ol’ black gum log. It was holler an’ about the second slab, a big ol’ sow coon an’ a couple o’ kits come rollin’ out. Boomer got a little confused as he hadn’t never treed sidewise before, this tree was layin’ down! In his haste to impress Pete, ol’ Boomer got a little careless around the saw blade an’, well Pete an’ Effie needed a new dog.

In view of the magnitude of this tragic event, Uncle Burley decided to deliver the newly trained pup personally. Well that, and the fact that Pete lived on 300 acres of creek bottom just loaded with coons. Naturally Uncle Burley needed a little help and decided to call me, so I was about to make my first trip out of state. I showed up ‘bout day light Friday mornin’. Uncle Burley ‘lowed as how we’d get there just about supper time. That way all the milkin’ and sloppin’ and fetchin’ in stove wood would be done so’s we could concentrate on showin’ Pete how well his new dog was trained.... after we ate, of course. In the business world timin’ is important. That’s why we let the pup and the five or six older dogs we was takin’ run loose about fifteen minutes after we fed ‘em before we dropped the tail gate and let ‘em into the back of Uncle Burley’s ’64 Nova station wagon. No cage, no barrier, just Uncle Burley’s good right arm to keep ‘em off us as he drove. That and his ability to cuss. A good Bluetick will soon recognize plain ever day cussin’ and come to pay it no mind. Especially if he’s a runnin’ a fox or a deer. ‘Course none of Uncle Burley’s dogs would ever run a fox or a deer, so I ain’t just sure how they picked up the lingo so quick. Uncle Burley, over the years, had developed a higher level of cussin’. When the reg’lar stuff weren’t paid no mind, Uncle Burley would let loose with a choice line ‘er two he’d learn’t workin’ summers as a carney. When confronted with this, even the most determined houn’ would stop, set back on his haunches an’ kinder turn his head sideways an’ look right puzzeled. That would usually give Uncle Burley time to rope him to a tree and frail hell out of him. Blueticks find this practice distasteful an’ sometimes develop a knack fer runnin’ silent.

This first trip to Pennsylvania would be a learning experience for me in many ways. The first of which is ... never let your mother convince you to put a biscuit o’ fried up fat back in your pocket for later. Them dogs took a keen interest in Maw’s cookin’. Uncle Burley’s good right arm was a gittin a might frazzled by the time I decided to sacrifice the biscuit for our own safety. It seems that Uncle Burley’s good right arm was hooked up to his bad right leg. Ever time he swung his arm back to swat one of them hounds, his leg went forward on the gas. To possibly save us all from whiplash, I tossed that biscuit in the back. One biscuit amongst seven hounds makes fer bad karma. Uncle Burley made sure I understood this whilst he was a sewin’ Danny Boy’s ear back on. The small detail that I had to hold Danny Boy down added a lot of emphasis to the lecture. “What the $%$()!!!#$$% was you thinkin’ boy”? Could’a got the whole %&%#**&()@! passle of us killed”! “You can take your arm outta his jaws now.”

I didn’t say much, just didn’t seem like the time.

Back on the road north again, the trip settled in a might. The dogs dropped off to sleep one by one, then Uncle Burley did too. They’s a lot of fields full of white turkeys in Hardy county. I’d truly like to apologize to any folks shorted come Thanksgiving. “Holy ^(*(%(#*)_&%, Sammul, did you see that @%%)(*^&^)() deer run across the road”?…. I hadn’t. And I had even been awake.

Along about noon we come to a Esso station and Uncle Burley, besides fillin’ the tank, bought me that fine dinner he’d promised. We rode a mile ‘er two, pulled over, and since it was cold, tied the dogs to a fence so’s we could eat inside the car. The dewlops on a Bluetick have been known to sling slobbers waaaaaay farther than the confines of a Nova station wagon.

I pulled out my can of oil packed sardines and sleeve of saltines, stripped off the top and dumped the juice out the window. Uncle Burley pulled out his can of oil packed sardines and sleeve of saltines, stripped off the top and dumped his sardines out the window. “ #%*%^$^& !!!”, he said opening the door.
“^&*#@#(*^%$&(*,” Uncle Burley added as he set his foot on most of his sardines laying in the road gravel. Well, he scooped up what he could with the top of the tin and settled back to enjoy lunch.
“Owwww, #&%#%#^*^$^, gravel, $^&^^%&^ near broke a )(^&#*&^in’ tooth!”

I didn’t say much, just didn’t seem like the time.

“Right down there, not mor’n a ^&$#(#*in’ mile,” Uncle Burley grinned as we crossed I-70. Not mor’n a ^&$#(#*in’ mile. Hilda May’s truck stop. We’ll pay ol’ Hilda a #*)*(&$ visit on the way back. She’s got a couple girls works fer her. The redhead’s mine…he he,” Uncle Burley cackled. I grinned a might myself. What folks said about him and I-70 was true! And he’d said WE!!! The conversation got a little colorful from here on in to Pete’s place, best not to bore ya’ll with it. But I was right proud Uncle Burley had took me along.

The shadows were crawlin’ out from under the corn crib as we pulled up in front of Pete’s place. We roped the dogs to a rail runnin’ along the yard as Pete came out to shake Uncle Burley’s hand. I watched as they examined the pup, talked about his daddy, Star Bawler, and marveled at their proficiency in coon hound lineage and cussin’. Purty soon Mizz Gaylor come to the door a wringin’ her hands in the tail of a print apron and announced that supper was about to be “throwed to the dogs.” We didn’t let that happen. Lemme tell you, fried taters, pinto beans, corn bread, cold packed ham and canned creasy greens is one fine way to start a meal. Finish ‘er off with cold cow’s milk from the smoke house and a slice of fresh baked apple pie and a feller could find that can of sardines on the way home wantin’.

Pete pulled himself a straw from the broom in the corner for a tooth pick and reckoned as how it was time to go huntin’. While me an’ Uncle Burley loosed the hounds, Pete pulled the old ’41 Willey’s Overland from a shed. He backed ‘er out in the open, swapped a couple cogs around in the transmission and headed ‘er down a genlty sloping field toward where the creek must be. I had climbed in the back, Uncle Burley in the front and the dogs was a runnin’, squattin’, and a pissin’ on ever thing they passed. This is coon huntin’ in it’s purest form. Good dogs, a full belly, and ridin’ down a gentle sloooooooooooooooooooope!!!!

4rum
11-30-2007, 09:52 PM
“&(&%%##&,” squalled Uncle Burley!!! Too #*$%&% steep!!!!!!!!!

“Aw don’t ya’ll worry none,” Pete says, if it git’s too bad I’ll throw ‘er in low range.”

“Throw ‘er, throw ‘er,” I begged shamelessly. There was a strong second from my pucker string.

The jeep finally landed with a thud down by the creek and Pete shet ‘er off so’s we could hear the dogs. Wasn’t too long a’fore Chopper started up “yawba yawba yawba.”

Then Sassy, “ roo, roo, aroo, rooooooooo, .”

Danny Boy was a might off prime tonight. Musta been his ear still hurt, “owwa, owwa. “Owwa, owwa, owwa,” then fellers, the magic come to us, Madam lit in, “Yodle, yooooodle.” Yoooooodle-ooodle-oodle….” Music. Madam was Uncle Burley’s prize *****. Pete was a lucky man to hunt with her, we all was.

“The *&%*&in’ pup shoulda picked ‘em up by now, Uncle Burley said. “Reckon where that (*^%)(*^#% is?”

“Uh… he’s right here asleep on my lap,” I offered quietly.

“Well hells fire !!!, Uncle Burley bellowed, throw his *(^*&%#%*&in’ A$$ outta there. Start him ‘cross the &^*^((&)*(&in’ crick with the rest of ‘em. Sounds like they’re gittin’ hot.

I slid out the back, took the pup by the collar and led him down to the crick. The dogs sounded like they’ed bayed. The pup cocked his head, gave a snort to clear his nose, throwed his head back and said,

“wuf.”

Sounded enough like ‘wolf’ to Pete, so the pup got named right there, ‘Blue Wolf”. It seemed the pup ‘Wolf’ might make a fair showin’. He immediately splashed into the crick and swam to the other side. By the light of Pete’s carbide lamp we seen him climb out on the other bank and skin ‘er into the brush.

“Wuf”.

A few minutes later, and there was no question, they’d bayed.

“Owwa owwa… Arooooooooo, Yawbbbbba, yawba, yabbba, Yooodle…….
<
<
<
<

Wuf.”


“Hmmmm, Pete rubbed his chin, took out a poke of Beech Nut and broke the bad news, they ain’t a ford ‘twixt here an’ the falls…Jeep won’t climb that even in low range.”

“How we gonna )(*&*&)*%$in’ git to ‘em?”

“Reckon we can wade, but she’s purty cold,” Pete shivered.

“Let’s give ‘em a (*^#%%^(&in’ minute, maybe it’ll swim the *&(^(&%%*#in’ crick to us.”

Amazing as it sounds the pack was suddenly off again.

“Yoooooodle,…. Yawba, yaawba, yawba yawba… rooooooooooooo…

wuf.”

Even more amazing they were getting’ closer. “Yawba yawba…roooo rooooo…..Yodle, yoooooooooooooooooooodle, Oww-arrrrggghhh, caf caf.”

Wuf.

“(*&5&)(&*%&%6, … sumpin’s got a hold of Danny Boy. They’re right acrost the (*&(^^^&)*)in’ crick”, Uncle Burley shouted over his shoulder.
He ran to the crick, waded in to his nut sack, said “ooo,” and come back to the bank.

“Yooooood-whimph” it was Madam!! This was too much for Uncle Burley. Madam was in trouble. Ker-splash ! he hit the crick at full throttle. We had no choice, Pete and I had to follow. Somewhat reluctantly we stepped into the crick. “&(%%#%$^%&%’” Pete squeeled as the water came up over his gum boots.

I didn’t say much, just didn’t seem like the time.

We cleared the other side of the crick and followed Uncle Burley’s wet trail into the brush. We hadn’t gone more than 20 yards when we were met with the pack….Uncle Burley…. and one pissed off black bear. “Yawba, yawba…
arooooooo…. Owww-caf, caf……..yooodle, yodle……..wuf. And then Uncle Burley lit in… “(&#%#*^**^## mangy ‘bar, git offen my Madam!!!

With that the bear sat back on it’s haunches, turned it’s head sideways a might and looked right puzzeled. This gave Uncle Burley enough time to pull a rope from his pocket wade in on the bear an’ get the hell frailed out of himself.

Once the bear was satisfied, no one, men nor dogs had much heart to follow her off into the brush. So while I held him, Pete sewed Uncle Burley’s ear back on.

“(*&^##*#(@#$%^” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $%^$%%*^(**&#^$%^%!!!

At this point every one pretty much decided the hunt should be called off so we gathered the pack about us and started back across the crick. The pup was in the lead and just as he took the far bank we heard him say,

“wuf.”

The rest of the pack joined in and then we saw it.

“(&^&^#^(*&^$” Pete, they’s a skunk up in the Jeep!!! %$#^^$&^$ Sammul, git the dogs!!!!! Too late.

Windows down, wet, cold, covered with skunk, as we crossed back over I-70, and drove on into the night, all Uncle Burley said was, “(*&#^%%*^^%$….!!! (*&^&^%#^&.”...!!!!

I didn’t say much… just didn’t seem like the time.

Soupy_1us
12-01-2007, 05:38 AM
Awesome Night out !!!!!!!........................... Don't reckon Ole Uncle Burley stopped at Hilda May's truck stop on the way home after that......
Great story 4rum .....Felt like I was really there....'cept for the smell.....

4rum
12-01-2007, 06:01 AM
Mornin' Soupy...

Figger'd you'd be up by now. Thanks for stoppin' by. I'm glad you read and left a comment. Again... you folks would probably never believe how much of this tale is TRUE!!!:icon_biggrin:

Have a good'un now
Sam

Soupy_1us
12-01-2007, 06:49 AM
Mornin' Soupy...

Figger'd you'd be up by now. Thanks for stoppin' by. I'm glad you read and left a comment. Again... you folks would probably never believe how much of this tale is TRUE!!!:icon_biggrin:

Have a good'un now
Sam



I believe it's true....Been there and done that....Takes forever to git that stink offin' ya and I still think some of them people out there are my kin-folk.........I had a dog named "Woof" 'cause .....That was the first thing he said to me . But, I'm the guy that had a "Cat" named "Dog" and a "Dog" named "Cat"..... Go figure !

4rum
12-01-2007, 06:52 AM
They's some folks 'round here that'd be plumb tickled to have you as kin... me included.

Soupy_1us
12-01-2007, 06:56 AM
Now, that makes me right proud !!! Thank you, Kind Sir..

Illinoisgiller
12-01-2007, 07:49 AM
Great story 4rum. Brings back the memories as I harken back to the nights I spent coon huntin with a buddy. His dog truck was an old Caddy with no back seat, but sound if you added tranny fluid every trip. Bale of straw busted for the dogs. Limped home a few times with all windows open and leaving a skunk trail behind.lol (although he said his dogs wouldn't run one. ) Thanks for sharing. Mike

4rum
12-01-2007, 08:59 AM
Mornin' Mike... glad you could drop by. Yep... we all know that no good houn' would ever run trash... it's just that unsuspectin' critters get in the way sometimes an' some mutt's are more effecient at gettin' 'em outta the way... like into the next county.... gone fer 3 days........ limp home footsore with a hind end full of shot to be picked out (with Aunt Holly's mustache tweezers)... no wonder we love 'em... they's just like us ! ! !

gofish
12-01-2007, 11:40 AM
nuther job dun well 4rum.....been there with the skunk an such myself a time er 2......aint much better an a fall night listenin ta them hounds run a coon er fox....cept listenin to em run an sharin a mason jar er two lol.(where i learnt ta drink lol)....git the right dog an they let loose its the purtiest sound yall ever hear...course seems like i member always bein the one ta fetch em ifn they took off on a trail an wouldnt wanna give er up...ole fox will run a dog ta death ifn he can

4rum
12-01-2007, 05:11 PM
Thank'ee gofish... don't reckon I'd know anything about them Mason jars (pint, quart, half gallon, gallon... glass top, rubber seal, spring wire cam over latch, sometimes found to contain liquides of dubious origin, shaken with one quick snap of the wrist leaving about a 'half bead' bubble)... nope don't seem to recollect .................................

Soupy_1us
12-01-2007, 07:08 PM
Hmmmmmmmm???? Don't know nuttin' 'bout that stuff huh?

4rum
12-01-2007, 07:58 PM
.........nary a thing...................

gofish
12-01-2007, 10:05 PM
man kinda tends ta fergit the day after dont he? lol:confused0018:

4rum
12-02-2007, 06:44 AM
... wut? :confused:

Timotha7
12-14-2007, 01:59 PM
Another good one Sam
I (almost) remember the one time I tried something like that in a jar