Spirits of '76

[4rum]

Spirits of ‘76

Back then they wasn’t many fire hydrants in Posey, but there was one at the very top of Hill Street. Every year around New Year’s Eve it got OPENED and Hill Street got CLOSED. See, sleigh ridin’ was a part of winter. Folks was a might more tolerant of things like this back then, and besides it give ‘em a chance to get rid of a lot of old tires.

Now if ya’ll can remember the winter of ‘75-’76… it got cold ! And if you don’t remember… you didn’t live around here then.

‘Bout mid afternoon New Years eve that hydrant at the top of Hill Street sprung it’s little annual ‘leak’ (thanks to Benny Weeby). Benny lived at the top of Hill Street, and his wife made some mighty fine hot chocolate. Benny, on the other hand, had the usual 5 gallon churn of home brew ‘workin’ off’ in the basement. The New Years sleigh ride and social was right on schedule !

Hill Street dead ended just past Benny’s place to every thing but goats… that’s ‘cause Hill Street was STEEP! The turn-around at the dead-end made a perfect place to gather, sip a little home brew or eggnog, and dare each other to "try ‘er all the way down to Maple". Maple Street intersected Hill ‘bout three or four blocks down and was the last place you could ditch without encountering too much traffic.

Near zero temperatures made it an exceptional evening for hot chocolate, home brew and ice. The ice just plain liked it cold. It layed down smooth and black on the pavement. Matter of fact, it was freezing so fast and hard a body had to keep movin’ around a little if he didn’t want to get froze in place.

Within minutes after Benny shut the hydrant down, Hill Street was ready. It was so ready it was scary! It was like looking at a black mirror… three blocks long and wouldn’t have been much steeper if you’d a hung it on the wall neither! Seemed like everyone was hangin’ back a little... so Benny brought out more home brew.

The scene was gettin’ pretty festive. The big ol’ stack of Town and Country bias plies were burning brightly. The black smoke was rollin’ and the gooey little black balls of suet that kept fallin’ seemed a fine compliment to Benny’s home brew. The ambience was beginnin, to thaw a little.

Well the bonfire was glowin’, the booze was flowin’ but nobody was goin’ … that dam hill looked like a frozen water fall! One thing though, if a hill is steep enough and slick enough you can ride almost anything down it ( one year we used Cryin’ Eddie, till a hole come in his coveralls and the cold and ice and the pain, sobered him enough to let him get away from us). Few folks had actual sleighs or sleds. Most would show up with door mats, cardboard boxes (one of Uncle Burley’s favorites) or maybe a blowed up inner tube. The storm drain at Ash, or the Ashhole as we called it, did have a tendency to deflate inner tubes real fast, and that kinder left a feller ‘flat on his Ash’ if you get my drift.

…and then Benny walked out with the ol’ lady’s big ol’ dishpan. Smooth white enamal, it was. Near three foot across, shiny in the fire light… and the crowd got a little crazy when they saw it. Ooooo…. they said ….ahhhhh… they said…. Benny’s gonna dieeeeeeeeeee… they said. Benny had a whole afternoon head start on them with the churn of home brew… his thinkin’ might not have been the clearest just now. He had been down Hill Street lots of times though, just not in a dishpan.

"Well she shouldn’t a left it on the table, Benny said boldly. "Shoulda been put up. Awright you bunch a sissies… I reckon I’ll have to show you how this is done".

With that, Benny plonked the dishpan down and tried to get in. For a while it looked like he wouldn’t fit, but then Norman Cruikshanks slipped and slid over and began to pretzel Benny’s legs in a criss-cross fashion underneath his butt. By the time Norman finished locking Benny’s legs in, he was on his knees and Benny, looking like a poppin jay in a bird bath, was just about nose to nose with him. Now Benny was drunk, no question about that, but he still caught the look in Norman’s eye

"Durn you Normy, don’t you spin me…. Normy…. Normy…. Nooooooo wo, wo, wo".

And Benny was off… and pickin’ up speed … and RPM’s

"Dam … mam … mam …. you …ooo … ooo ….Nor … or … or … me …eeeee … yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee".

Spinning past Elm, Benny was able to get one leg out just before he busted the Ashhole wide open. This slowed the spinning enough for him to catch glimpses of Maple… and traffic on Main!!! One thought spun through Benny’s mind… well two actually, but he could kill Norman Cruikshanks tomorrow in the daylight so’s he could enjoy it… if he made ‘er til then! The other thought was BAIL OUT!!!

Didn’t work. That one last leg was doubled under his butt and had him firmly lodged into the dishpan. Maple was comin’ up fast. "Rock ‘er, Benny thought, rocker an’ wreck ‘er… it’s my only chance".

[4rum]

Now if ya’ll remember, they was one fire hydrant at the top of Hill Street, well there was another at the bottom. A hundred and ninety pounds of drunk projectile traveling at about sixty mph wasn’t enough to take out that ol’ cast iron Mueller, but it did crack it a might… and it knocked Benny’s dishpan plumb off !

As a fine mist of water started to turn everything to ice, the only thing Benny heard was the “tick, tink, pip, ping” of chipping enamal. When he realized it was from his teeth layin’ over there in a snow bank, it took away a lot of the elation he had been feeling at being alive. As the spinning in his head slowed a little and Posey began to right itself beneath his quivering legs, Benny found that he could stand… almost. So bent over, braced with one hand on a knee and bleeding from the mouth, Benny looked waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back to the top of the hill, shook his fist wildly at Norman and said…

"Nam noo Morman! Mime nonna nill oo!!!” And Normy laaaauuughed… till Wayne Rolley’s feet flew out from under him and he collected Normy amidships and down the hill they went!

"Son of a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" screamed Norman. But as they picked up speed all he and Wayne could do was hang on to each other.

As the two swirling figures jumped the Ashhole, Benny saw ‘em comin’, recognized Norman’s red checkered Woolrich and began to frantically look for something to kill him with. It did not, at once, occur to Benny that he was directly in the flight path. Find nothing suitable to maim Norman with, Benny decided to do him in with his bare hands. When the arctic mittens wouldn’t come off, he found that the spray from the hydrant was fast turning him into an icicle. That’s also about the time Wayne and Norman slammed into Benny making it a menage a tois into the traffic on Main. Made no never mind to Benny, he was pissed… and had a pretty fair headlock on Norman that no approaching bread truck was gonna to deprive him of. Wayne was by this time frozen to Benny’s other arm, so this obviously left Benny with no alternative but to bite Normans ear. When Norman saw the blood, he naturally screamed but strangely felt no pain… gummed he was!!! The six arms, six legs and associated bloody mess slid to a stop in the middle of Main Street.

Lyle Martin had been driving a cab in Posey nigh onto twenty years, he had never seen anything like this.

The frigid temperature was quickly freezing the three wet, struggling men’s clothing together. Each had about one arm and one leg apiece that still functioned independently. Lyle thought at first that some ones snowman had accidentally rolled into the street, but upon a closer look decided that no one would purposely concoct anything this grotesque. Now as bad as Lyle hated the prospect of getting stuck on the ice, he stopped the cab just short of running them over.

Wayne, who started out basically as a victim in this melee was again, basically victimized. It was his ‘deer in the headlights’ stare, staring into Lyles’ headlights from thiiiiiiiiiiisssss…. close.

It’s funny how from three or four blocks away a scene can be misinterpreted… home brew notwithstanding. When Arlie Bivens showed up with his coal scoop, he had no idea of all that had just taken place. The fact that every one at the turn- around was rolling on the ground laughing was no indication that this year was any different from any other year. Now folks, Arlie’s coal scoop was famous on Hill Street. It was considered the Ferrari of improvised sleighs all over town. A coal scoop is a shovel used for shoveling coal. A ‘D’ handle of steel and fine white hickory is fitted to a scoop shovel just about the size and general shape of Widder Jenkins’ behind. Arlie gingerly placed the scoop on the ice, with full knowledge aforethought that nothing on the hill could touch it… just like the Widder Jenkins behind……

Arlie pointed the handle of the shovel toward downtown. The street was just steep enough, that when he straddled ‘er and sat down, he had a pretty fair bead on the little wad of happy folks waaaay down there through the ‘D’ of the ‘D’ handle. Arlie didn’t know that a third or two of the happy folks down there may be up on serious charges before morning. He took a firm two handed hold on the shovel handle sticking up between his legs, lifted his feet and ooched forward with his butt. As the scoop began to inch onto the ice Arlie, in his best Tennesee Ernie Ford impersonation boomed out "Load sixteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen...”
and Arlie was thrown forcibly onto his back but managed to hang on.

What a beautiful night Arlie thought. From his inverted position he could see many pretty lights, the full moon, stars…. there were lots of stars…which suddenly began to blur. Arlies’ Ferrari had gotten it’s head. As Arlies’ cheeks started flowing back away from his teeth, he realized that he was going much too fast.

Swisssssh…. Elmashmaplemaintaxi…. KEEEEEEE-RAAAAASSSSHHHH !

The frozen mass in the middle of Main Street barely saw the blur that passed. The cold breeze from it still chilled their ruddy cheeks as they turned in time to see the impact. The big yellow Buick shuddered, the hood flew up and a little steam was starting to escape from the radiator… uh… that’s ‘cause a shovel handle had poked a hole in it. A shovel handle that extended down and out of sight between Arlie’s legs. As the onlookers looked on Arlie didn’t say much. He just kinder jammed his hands down to cup his crotch and emitted one very high pitched "oh" and sort of melted into a little ball in front of the taxi.

The flashin’ blue lights on Sheriff Chaney’s patrol car added greatly to the festive air which now surrounded the disabled taxi… and the disabled Arlie… and the combined disability of the Benny-Wayne-Norman conjoined popsicle. But with the promise of a healing handshake (when hands could actually be thawed from around throats) and the surrendering of nearly a gallon and a half of home brew (evidence you know) the ’76 New Years Eve debacle, as it was to come to be known, was put to rest.

Now as rough and tumble as this event may sound to some of you gentler folks … they was some good come out of it. Benny got lots of brand new teeth, which he’d been needin’ any way. Lyle got a new radiator, which he didn’t need before but the insurance sprung for new hoses and a thermostat, so Lyle figured he had come ahead. And the church got a new tenor. Arlies’ eyes eventually returned to their normal size, but his clear, high, ringing voice is a permanent reminder of the ‘spirits of ’76.

© 2007 Sam Richmond

[Soupy_1us]

The names are different, but the story is the same.... Our "Hill Street" was called "Dekoven Hill" and the road was the "Main" highway through this little town I live in....
Had the same hydrant at the top of the hill..... Same burnin' tires, same "sleds" , 'cept we had car hoods from the junk yard up the road..
Always made the "State Salt Trucks" stop at the bottom of the hill, wouldn't let 'em spread the salt on the "Track"....And our drink of choice that first night was home made wine and a little "shine".....(we called it "Wine Shine").....People from all around the county would come down on the first snow day.
Guess we all had those nights.
The local hospital done good business that night..

[4rum]

Mornin' Soupy... you'll never know how much I appreciate the comments you make on these little tales. I write often about how much actual truth there is to them... without your support, I don't think anyone would believe it.

Folks often feel that I have an over active imagination... I don't... just a fair to middlin' recollection of how things used to be. It's good to have someone to relate to.... 'member "black ice"? ... the kind that chickens couldn't stand up on? I doubt that there are that many folks that have seen chickens fall down.... repeatedly ! It's funny as hell! :icon_biggrin:

[Soupy_1us]

"Black Ice"........ yep....'member it well.....Wished we had them movie cameras back then to take some "good" pictures of them chickens dancin' on that stuff...
These city folk on here don't know what they've missed.
Ice skatin' on gravel roads.. it can be done....Gives the real meaning of "Road Rash" when you went down.
Seems funny how one of them fire hydrants always sprung a leak around that first hard freeze.. Even done some ice skatin' on our city football field in them days...
Do remember when our picture show building burn down years ago,I was about four.. Firemen looked like ice cubes runnin' around there trying to put it out....Everything that water would fall on would turn to icicles.. We had that "Black Ice" on the whole town that year...
Most all your stories that you have told on here....I can relate to ...For a while I thought you were talking about my friends, family and the places I've lived.....
The situations are the same, just the names have been changed....

[4rum]

I was a fireman here for 17 years before I moved inside and into Emergency Management. I've been on fires in freezing temps where we had to thaw our turnout gear off of us. Couldn't unsnap the snaps with 1/2 of ice on 'em. Bunker pants would stand by themselves. Lot of times we'd have to get highways out to put down skid before we could move the trucks. There would be ice 2 to 3 inches thick on every thing.

You have yourself a good day now... an' don't forget to cook a pot of cabbage with a (all silver) quarter in it for prosperity throughout '08. (Them copper quarters'll leave a bad taste in your mouth... kinder like gettin' bit by an ek'lectric fence). :icon_eek:

[Illinoisgiller]

Yet another great story 4rum.
riverrat2 will wince when he reads this one.
He gave up an eye to the famous "mile run" in Keithsburg IL. Like so many things those days, wasn't a mile long --- but felt like it .lol Don't recall exactly the particulars of how he lost it but had someting to do with long boards and car hood.:confused0068: :confused0024:. Thank you 4rum, and happy New Year. Mike

[Schoe]

I too enjoy the originality of the tales you fellas share. It seems like Forum and Soupy grew up in the same type of atmosphere to where you had to make your own fun dangerous or not. The hypocrites that make and enforce our laws today would have you in jail in a heartbeat going down a main street in your homespun vehicles.

Thanks for all the contributions to WIF Fellas, it is greatly appreciated.

Happy New Year

[gofish]

4rum ...we had "cannon hill" here....sure looks smaller nowadays but it was lots of fun....road an hill ended in a "t"..fer some reason the gentleman that had the house at the bottom down there ended up puttin big boulders in his front yard......mightta had sumptin ta do with a young man,new sled fer christmas an a big plate glass winder :confused0068::evilgrin0039:....thanks fer anuther good un...sure brings back memories

[Pegleg]

I remember that winter. It was the only time I saw snow in south Florida. I was getting off the Delray Beach exit of the Fla. turnpike with a load of calves and I had to stop short of the toll booth because the crazy gal that collected tolls was runnin around tryin to catch snow flakes on her tongue. :confused0018:

[ho_shi]

we used plastic disks when iwas a kid (not many years ago) and got a small crack in a buddys... we were being pulled by surbarban and about 25 ft of rope.. he sprayed me in face and we had to go round a sharp 90 corner between 2 gate posts..... course we were going lil fast the surbarban and the 2 disks... iwas on the outside and had to bail off and right int othe oncoming post... did i mention you fly just as fast on your butt as a disk??? 6 in wood gate post and barb wire does a number to a plastic disk and to a ho_shi too!!!

[4rum]

Yet another great story 4rum.
riverrat2 will wince when he reads this one.
He gave up an eye to the famous "mile run" in Keithsburg IL. Like so many things those days, wasn't a mile long --- but felt like it .lol Don't recall exactly the particulars of how he lost it but had someting to do with long boards and car hood.:confused0068: :confused0024:. Thank you 4rum, and happy New Year. Mike
Hi Mike... Happy New Year ... it's a miracle that we all didn't lose a lot more body parts than we did..... I 'member one trip down th' "barn hill" at home on th' farm. New sled, layin' down, feet stuck straight up... set of draw bars at th' bottom.... yep... I got "de-sledded". Good Lord musta had a bit of walkin' for me to do yet... neither leg got broke.

Thanks for readin' an' sharin' some memories.

Sam

[4rum]

I too enjoy the originality of the tales you fellas share. It seems like Forum and Soupy grew up in the same type of atmosphere to where you had to make your own fun dangerous or not. The hypocrites that make and enforce our laws today would have you in jail in a heartbeat going down a main street in your homespun vehicles.

Thanks for all the contributions to WIF Fellas, it is greatly appreciated.

Happy New Year

Mornin' Schoe;

You are absolutely correct. There are those that would see such a liability to actually enjoying a public street that they'd go bonkers. Back then, they acutally shut that street down and sleigh riding was a part of our winter. Glad you noticed the kindred spirit I seem to share with Soupy... I'm right proud that it shows ! ! !

Sam

[4rum]

4rum ...we had "cannon hill" here....sure looks smaller nowadays but it was lots of fun....road an hill ended in a "t"..fer some reason the gentleman that had the house at the bottom down there ended up puttin big boulders in his front yard......mightta had sumptin ta do with a young man,new sled fer christmas an a big plate glass winder :confused0068::evilgrin0039:....thanks fer anuther good un...sure brings back memories

Hey gofish... seems they shore built roads, houses an' hills in funny places back then. Why I member this one house actual' built ON a hill... lucky the feller what built it had th' presence of mind to put a front AND back door !!!
His wife never did appreciate all the company... slept with 'er clothes on too... after the first winter... seldom bathed, as I recall... not when they's a snow on anyways..........................

[4rum]

I remember that winter. It was the only time I saw snow in south Florida. I was getting off the Delray Beach exit of the Fla. turnpike with a load of calves and I had to stop short of the toll booth because the crazy gal that collected tolls was runnin around tryin to catch snow flakes on her tongue. :confused0018:

... hmmm... that was prob'ly Squeek. She done the same thing with millers an' candle flies.... :confused0024:

[4rum]

we used plastic disks when iwas a kid (not many years ago) and got a small crack in a buddys... we were being pulled by surbarban and about 25 ft of rope.. he sprayed me in face and we had to go round a sharp 90 corner between 2 gate posts..... course we were going lil fast the surbarban and the 2 disks... iwas on the outside and had to bail off and right int othe oncoming post... did i mention you fly just as fast on your butt as a disk??? 6 in wood gate post and barb wire does a number to a plastic disk and to a ho_shi too!!!

... uh... awful sorry to hear about your buddies small crack... but what th' hey... we can't all be plumbers.........

Yep I 'member them plastic discs. I b'lieve Mattel took th' pattern from a dish pan... (wonder where they got THAT idee?) Ya'll shoulda knowed better than to get towed around by a Suburban anyhow !!! ... a good Willy's woulda had waaaaaaaay more traction!!!

...nasty stuff barbed wire... Perk Dillon put it outside his daughter's winder... she had to tell him th' cat scratched er'... Perk took an' told 'er not to sit on him no more:confused0068:

[ho_shi]

haha had the willys in the garage, brakes locked up on one side one time and spun us round on one them roads where a 15 ft drop off on both sides and dad never drove it again

than he also was converting from generator to alt system and bunch wires up on it too!!!!!

was nothing more irrating then them lil 4 in wipers on passenger side and working them as a kid just to see out the dam window!!!!!! wish i had another one tho!!! taht was a 57 cj7 if i remember

[4rum]

Hey ho_shi;

My dad had one of the old Willy's Overland pick ups. I think it was a '48 model. It had the "bulldog" transmission. You could walk faster than it would go in bulldog... but it would go just about anywhere. I'd love to have it now... single barrel carb... 30 miles to the gallon.

I think if we could go back to those engines, we could offset the polutants produced by the minimal fuel consumption. I had a '53 Plymouth for a while... slant 6... with NO modification... it got fantastic milage. No catalytic converter, no emmission controls, and ran so quiet that I often tried to start it when it was already running.

Maybe I'm just old and long for a gentler time... but dang it ! they've just about "technology'ed" me to death!

[ho_shi]

ford 300 6 was the best i had that gardner t18 tranny with the low grany gear could not be beat!!

[gofish]

4rum....my first car was a plymouth duster,slant 6.......best car i ever had....have ta tell the story of goin down old 51 on 2 wheels in it sometime ......:confused0068:.been tryin ta find one cheap roun here fer years ta fix up fer my wife...figure even "she" couldnt kill that slant 6.......

[4rum]

ho_shi... yeah, you're right about that. I had one in a '76 Ford p/u. Hardly ever used first gear. On the highway, 55 was about all you wanted. Past that the rpm's were gettin' up there. Good truck though.

gofish... I liked the slant 6 and I like the later Dusters. Early models had an inheirant problem with the front brakes. They either chattered badly or just pain wore out the rotors in no time. Couldn't seem to fix 'em.

...440 Magnum... now that's a brute. Not much on gas milage, but they'd outrun a turpentined bluetick.................

[Timotha7]

Another great story Sam!
It is amazing how many things everyone on this forum shared, even though we came
from different areas of the country

(or perhaps the Key word here is "Country", grew up a "Long Haired Country Boy" to
quote a great singer/song-writer, and guess that is kinda universal!)

Thanks for sharing !

Tim

[gofish]

mine was a 71.....ever git ahold a one i like ill do a frame off....new technology in an old car......best of both worlds..lol.......leavin the slant 6 in, but wouldnt it be sweet to put one a them new vette motors in it?

[4rum]

Mornin' Tim;

I think maybe it's the commonality of the things we do in our youth. There are areas where there is no snow, but whooooo Lordy, they's young'uns all over the place. Sleigh riding, ice skating or go carts, we all found ways to threaten our longevity. One popular game in my youth was "Sassafrass Breakdown"......... climb a Sassafrass... swing your legs out to bend 'er over and ride 'er to the ground.... sometimes you got the "Breakdown" an' the game was a lot shorter.........................:icon_biggrin:

[4rum]

mine was a 71.....ever git ahold a one i like ill do a frame off....new technology in an old car......best of both worlds..lol.......leavin the slant 6 in, but wouldnt it be sweet to put one a them new vette motors in it?

...hmmmm Mopar an' Chevy... HOT DANG A "Movy" !!! :icon_biggrin:

[Soupy_1us]

Mopar !
Guess I can say I'd been there too....
'67 Dodge Coronet R/T 440 Mag two 4s , come from the factory that way...
Wife's car, when she was my girlfriend in highschool...Yes, I made it to High School ! (had trouble gettin' out of it but, I made it there)
First car that I had ever seen 160 on the speed-o-meter...bout, 8 miles per gal....But, would smoke the tires plumb offin' itself.
Bronze ( Burnt Orange) with spray on black vinyl top...No chorme on it no place....Looked like Grandma's car...mud grips on the back of her ( the car,not the wife) ..What we use to call a "Sleeper"..That's how I made my beer money back in them days...
We'd go out on a Friday night...find some fool, and head for the "Quarter Mile"...That thing could "smoke" them 350s and 396s when they come out in the new '72 Chevys. Did have trouble with one '71 Super Bee ('nuther Mopar).... Had bigger 4s than I did, I guess, but, he had pretty tail lights (cause that's all I ever seen of him). :confused0024: