Fishing Jokes

[Live2Fish]

I don't have anything interesting to post. No fishing tales or funny stories, at least not yet. So I thought I'd see if I could scrounge up any fishing jokes (as I haven't heard any of those lately either). And...here's a website I ran across and a couple quick jokes from there. :D




"I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife
...best trade I ever made." - Thomas Horan



WARNING: SEXUAL LANGUAGE ;)
Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex

When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.

[FisherBuddy]

How funny. Thanks for posting the site. I believe a good fishing joke never dies. ;-) Know of any more sites?

[Ðe§perado™]

Those are great!!

[capt.kirk]

a good belly laugh can releive a lot of STRESS,even if its at our
own expense,thank you tupperware.
KIRK

[FisherBuddy]

Here's a cute site I found when looking for fishing gifts. It has some hilarious fishing jokes I think you all might enjoy. Happy reading!

[capt.kirk]

Fisher Buddy
Now those were some funny jokes,the one about the woman reading
a book,and the one about the pet fish were great.:D
KIRK

[FisherBuddy]

Capt., I'm always surfing in my free time so if I run across any more I'll be sure to post them.

Do you get over run by joke or funny emails some times? I get a bunch of crap daily, some funny, some not. But if any of it's worht posting I'll bring it here.

[bowline]

FISHIN

One day I went a fishin
To catch a fish to eat
At the end 'o the day
An empty net and wet feet

One day I went a fishin
To give my mind a rest
It didn't take me long
To know I passed the test

One day I went a fishin
A fishin I did go
I found somethin special
Only fishermen know

One day I went a fishin
To find the ultimate catch
While sittin there in my boat
I saw my socks didn't match



©bowline '06

[Pegleg]

This ain't a fishin joke but its close.

Choosing a wife





A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.



The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beau ty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfit s, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.




The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much

Again, the man is impressed.




The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.




Obviously, the man was impressed.





The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.






Then, he m arried the one with the biggest boobs.






Men are like that, you know.





There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer' s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.